she looked like the before picture.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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