she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Gay?
German.
Pity.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
