about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
