I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
