Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
