Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
