remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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