so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
