Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
