he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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