am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
