If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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