So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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