Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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