what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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