Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
