he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
