there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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