One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
