Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
