I didn't shave. On purpose
only if we run a train.
done.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
