That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
