dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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