There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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