do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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