So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
