hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
