Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
