butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
