Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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