Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
