Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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