Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
