I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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