sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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