He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
