just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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