There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
