i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
