Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
