He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
