In America we eat man semen.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
