He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
