We're like a lot better than the average bears
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
