the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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