your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
