North Korea, Best Korea!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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