so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
