The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
