i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
