I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Randomize
